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| Actual illustrations from highschoolers papers
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a
guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of
those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country
speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar
eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he was room temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated
because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge
at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an
eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another
city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across
the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having
left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka
at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either,
but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land
mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
original link here: http://help.com/post/124066-funny-metaphors-used-in-high-school
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| Things to do before I leave for Portugal in 140 hours:
-2 sectors of MIR (6-8 hours)
-work 3 (4?) full days
-get "most" of a research project I've barely started "set up and running" (10-20?) (those are the orders I was given, hence the quoty things)
-make a few more phone calls to try and finish fundraising. Looking for another $300ish
-meet Jacob to go over last-minute travel details
-pack (course, that only takes an hour, hour and a half at most, I really just put it on the list to make it look longer. As if it needs it)
Suffice it to say, I'll prolly be slightly stressed for awhile. and just maybe a little sleep-deprived. 
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| so, i'm supposed to be back in Va. by now, but my flight was cancelled after the plane I was supposed to take got hit by a flying baggage cart during a windstorm |-( So instead, I'm in a hotel, taking off at 5:45 am tomorrow, to go to Atlanta, to eventually finally end up in Dulles.
On the bright side, it's a pretty nice hotel, and if there was anything better to do than MIR, i might possibly enjoy it a little. But the prospect of getting 4 hours of sleep is sorta depressing.
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(i'm hoping to sneak a game in tonight tho 
) I got an internship, and if I told you where, I'd have to kill you, j/k. 
but the big news is
